We spent most of our life reacting to the events around us. Whenever someone says something against us, we instantly fight back. Whenever we found ourselves in trouble, we try to fix that instantly. This instant reaction does not give us enough time to think. And without thinking we are not able to use our 100% potential to deal with the situation.
“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.”Epictetus
I have attended a “Brahma kumaris” workshop recently. The topic for the discussion was “Forgive and Forget”. During the session, BK Falguni wrote some words into the board:
Rather than React -> Re think and Act
These words painted into my heart immediately. I can see that this not only helps in making relationship effective but works everywhere in life.
What make us reactive?
If we talk about relationships, we easily get hurt when someone criticizes us. We have an image of our self. When we hear something that is not according to that image, we do not accept that. We try our best to prove him wrong by reacting to his words.
If we talk about professional life, we all are busy. We have so much in our plate to do every day. There are tasks with assigned deadlines. If we suddenly realize that something is not going as planned, we are not able to accept that. We found ourselves into trouble and look for the quick fix. This quick fix leads to reactive behaviour. We depend on the quick fix so much because we want immediate solutions. Remember: Most of the Quick fix works for the short time.
“The possibilities are numerous once we decide to act and not react.”George Bernard Shaw
How to break the chain of Reaction:
Break the word “React” into “Re think + Act”. This works like a magic.
The reactive people have little or no control over their mind. They are vulnerable by the situations. Little change in the surrounding leads to change their mood.
Victor Frankl said it brilliantly, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
We are running in life with so much pace that when complex situations comes, we do not realize that we have to slow down for a while. If we do not slow down, we do not able to choose our thoughts. We need to keep ourselves separate from the effect given by the situations for some time. Only then, we can give our best.
Remember: How a person behaves is his choice. You do not become what he is saying. You cannot make everyone happy. So rather than just proving him that you are right, do something appropriate. Let your actions speak more than your words.
You can easily remember such incident in life when someone did not behaved well with you. You got angry and replied in the same manner and it affected your relationship. We regret so many times for our past behaviour. Later we realize that we could have done it better.
So whenever you find yourself in the trouble, follow these steps:
- Accept the situation.
- Take a pause. Keep calm.
- Detach yourself from the effect.
- Make yourself aware about your true potential.
- Think and Re-think in different perspective.
- Act consciously.
If you truly want to utilize your full potential, think rationally before act. The most important decisions you take when life hit you badly. How you act makes or breaks your relationship. Every problem is an opportunity to grow. You always have power to choose. Choose wisely.
So next time, no matter what the situation is:
Do not just React! Rethink and Act